How do women correct space time for a good marriage?
There is a couple, and his wife loves it more.
Once, when her husband talked about his parents and family, he naturally called it “our family .” Of course, he said “our family” refers to his parents’ home.
As a result, his wife had a better fight with him, and he must correct him, saying, “Before marriage, we can say that our family can be your parents’ home, which I have no problem with.
But now that we are married, our family should be my and yours. How can you say that your parents’ family is ours? Do you have ours in your heart?
This is a matter of principle.
The wife’s string of confession like a tongue twister made her husband cry and laugh, and he couldn’t speak clearly.
In order to talk about principles in everything, and to be unreasonable, the couple often disputed the issue of schooling for their children, the issue of cooking and cooking, and the late return of their husbands. The wife always had to argue with him.Wrong, and the wife is always right.
In the end, her husband couldn’t take it and wanted to divorce.
The wife couldn’t figure it out, so she went to the “Emotion Hotline” for consultation, and later she took her husband to come for an interview.
The counselor didn’t say much about the truth, but gave them a blank piece of paper and let them write down these controversial things one by one.
The two of them wrote a piece of paper, which was nothing more than trivial matters.
The counselor asked them to exchange the “guilt” written by the other party and asked them: “Is each of these things really a matter of principle?”
It is really necessary to distinguish right from wrong, who is right and who is wrong?
“The couple laughed embarrassedly.
Living at home, there are many things without the best answer. Marriage is more emotional, not a place to win or lose. Otherwise, the price paid is to lose both.
However, many couples in real life, when the two people disagree, or the results are not satisfactory, many couples are used to insisting that they are right, accusing each other of failure, it seems that all the responsibility lies with each other, they are a reasonable party.
As a result, very quickly, the focus is no longer the thing to be discussed, and it even turned into a quarrel. What’s wrong with each other’s accusations against each other? “How can you do that?
“What is your attitude?”
“It is ineffective to deal with conflict in marriage in this way.
There is also a couple who entered the bear market due to the slump in the stock market and their marriage relationship.
Here’s the thing: when the stock index was close to 6000 points, the couple put a total of 100,000 yuan into the stock market.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for their stock market nuggets dream to experience a major stock market slump.
So far, their stocks have been deeply quilted, with 10 million funds shrunk by 70%, leaving only 30%.
Speaking of stocks, his wife was in a bad mood and couldn’t help but sue her husband: “I blame him and don’t listen to me.
When the index fell to more than 5,000 points, we still made some money and told him to throw it. He was greedy and did not throw it. Later, when the index dropped to 4,000 points, we just made up for it slightly. I urged him to throw it.Rebound to make up for that loss and then throw.
As a result, the index has less than 2,000 points left. I don’t know where the bottom is, and I dare not toss it.
We’ve been dry for a year, and we still posted it.
I was so mad that we quarreled as soon as we talked about stocks. We all blame him for not listening to me.
He said that I was Zhuge Liang afterwards, and stood back and spoke without back pain.
“Just like this couple, those who are used to winning or losing in marriage and insist on” I am right “, they all have some classic idioms, such as” I blame you and didn’t listen to me at the time. ”
“” Let me say it, if you had listened to me.
“You can’t do this.
“You shouldn’t be like that.
These words may be familiar to many couples.
But, which one is more important, compare your right and wrong with your marriage relationship?
Adhere to the “I’m right” person in everything, the marriage relationship will not be good, only suitable to live alone.
Because marriage is when two people live together, and no two people in the world have the same opinion on everything. If a person is always right, it means that he is not ready to accept a different view from himself, and it also means that he cannot succeed withAnyone lives together.
People who insist on “I’m right” actually put themselves in a better position than the other party, and put the control of things in their own hands. The relationship between husband and wife should have been equal, and now there is a distinction between high and low.When two people don’t step on a beat, this relationship naturally has to be separated. Educator Li Kaifu once told a story.
He once spoke to a four-year-old girl.
The little girl said, “The rabbit is the cutest.
Li Kaifu teased her and said, “No, kittens are more cute.
“The little girl nodded and went away.
Kaifu Lee asked: “Are you right or am I right?
The little girl said, “You have your opinion, I have my opinion.”
“What a four-year-old girl can think of, sometimes we adults don’t.
Therefore, when we demand that the other party does not do well, in fact, what we need to check is our ability to love.
Here I would like to teach you a positive technique of “space time” for husband and wife communication.
“Space time” is a very special time spent by the couple.
During this time, the two sides should put aside all unpleasant memories or emotions, just like going to space in a spaceship, leaving all the unpleasantness on the earth.
Both parties can completely drop the topic that makes the relationship tense, say some real feelings and help the relationship, and give care, support and love to each other without reservation.
The purpose is not to allow some temporary emotions or attitudes to overlap, alienate the relationship between the two, interrupt communication, and make the other feel helpless.
”Space time” requires two people to agree in advance so that it can be used when needed.
Like buying insurance, it is too late to set up when needed.
This is a technique that can prevent the relationship from deteriorating, and even save the end of the relationship, so it is worth every couple to build it.
There are two important points in the operation of “space time”: when one party asks for “space time”, the other party must not refuse.
“Space time” should be regarded as a first aid box for the relationship between two people, and it is an emergency handling mechanism when one party feels a crisis in the relationship between two people.
If one party rejects the other’s request for “space time”, the message to the other party is: “I don’t care about our relationship, even if this relationship breaks down, I don’t care.
“The two parties need to agree on a gesture as a signal.
In “Space Time”, if one party forgets to obey the rules and starts to say rejection, criticism, or vent, the other is convenient to send this signal.
When a party sees this signal, they need to change the topic and behavior immediately.